Explanations for 60-69
| 60. Redundancy Incorrect: Illness is a discomforting situation that is caused by mental or physical sickness. |
| 61. Word Choice What is diction? Diction is simply word choice. When writing a letter to Mom, a less-formal diction than an essay for Professor Smith should be used. Diction depends on audience: a clear idea of to whom will present an approach to diction. While a conversational diction would usually be inappropriate in an essay for English class, it may be used with carte blanche in an email memo. See also Cliché and Colloquialism. Correct: There is a reason for the government's madness.Incorrect: There is a reason for the government's seeming irrationality in this matter. A thesaurus offers atypical synonyms for typical words. For example, "talk" is both a noun and a verb, and the thesaurus offers many substitutes for both. While a thesaurus may offer alternatives to certain words and help to improve one's vocabulary, be careful when using one. Often, a thesaurus will give substitute words that are close in meaning, but differ subtly. Use a dictionary in conjunction with a thesaurus in order to be sure that the meaning of a word matches its intended use. Also, when looking up appropriate alternative words, avoid pompous diction (Williams 85): Pursuant to the recent memorandum issued August 9, 1987, because of financial exigencies, it is incumbent upon us all to endeavor to make maximal utilization of telephonic communication in lieu of personal visitation.Remember, writing should be clear, not pompous, wordy, or highfalutin. Make sure your meaning is clear in a well-articulated sentence: As the memo of August 9 said, to save the company money, use the telephone as much as you can instead of making personal visits.Strunk and White tell writers to avoid fancy words (76-8). They say that "one's ear must be one's guide" in matters of word choice (77). This is good advice; if a word is unfamiliar to you, and you would not feel comfortable using it in a conversation, then avoid it. Use a ten-cent word this time, and concentrate on improving vocabulary. What is the best way to improve vocabulary? Read! See also Detail. |
| 62. Wordiness What is wordiness? Often, in an attempt to sound more intelligent or, more often, to meet a word requirement, inexperienced writers will indulge in wordy sentences. Wordy sentences obfuscate rather than clarify and impede the prose rather than keeping it accessible. Compare these two sentences (Williams 24): Patient movement to less restrictive methods of care may be followed by increased probability of recovery.The former sentence might have to read twice for an understanding, but the latter sentence has a subject, an active verb, less nominalizations, and less unnecessary words. Tip: Read your own writing out loud to yourself; if you stumble, or lose your concentration, then chances are the sentence might be too wordy, simply awkward, or grammatically incorrect. Cutting down on wordiness is difficult to master; even experienced writers still indulge in wordy sentences for some of the same reasons that new writers do. Remember, we write to communicate ideas; therefore, our writing must be as lucid as possible. Incorrect: Not everyone believes in a higher being, God, but I personally do.Correct: Phrases like "I believe," "I feel," "I personally think," etc., are rarely necessary and almost always wordy. Many writers believe that they must serparate their own opinions from the rest of the essay's, and the best way to do that, so they think, is by simply stating "in my opinion." However, the writer should realize who is writing the essay; the realization that ALL opinions not quoted or cited belong to him or her. Therefore, "I personally" is not only redundant (would one ever say "I impersonally"?), it is wordy and should be removed: Not everyone believes in a higher being, as I do. A careless (or non-extistent) proofreading will often miss mistakes like the latter sentence's. Correcting the spelling of "receives" and removing the additional "that" rids the sentence of two its problems. Secondly, move the preposition (from) into its correct position, before the object (sources). While the sentence is still not perfect, three costly errors have been eliminated: If at all possible, parents should be careful from which sources their child receives information about Halloween. |
| 64. Omitted Word An omitted word is just that: a word left out that is necessary to complete the thought of the sentence, without which the sentence becomes grammatically incorrect or incoherent. This error can be fixed through a careful proofreading. Incorrect: Racism is believed to be on a color of the person's skin.Correct: Racism is believed to be based on the color of a person's skin. |
| 67. Clichéd or Trite Incorrect: The Metamorphosis is a very interesting piece of literature that is often analyzed. |
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   | 18 December 1997 |